HALLOWANNABE

You know theres something suspicious going on when a store opens up for a month and then closes down. Halloween is a way for companies to trick people for a treat: MONEY! Do you really think those stores care about history or tradition? C'mon now! If your over your preteen years and your still buying into this scam you seriously need some help. Halloween is just a way for women to go below the expected dressing standards and come out looking like sluts. Just because its Halloween doesn't mean you can go out nomadically wandering the streets flaunting your goodies looking like your ready to accept $10 for a fucking blow job. And it doesn't stop with the women, this so called holiday is also a way for the undercover faggots to show their true colors. NO, it is not funny for a 30 year old man to dress as a hooker. You want to be a transvestite go ahead and get the fucking operation and do it the right way (not that there's a fucking right way to be one but you get it), don't wait for this fucking day to have your fun and lie to yourself saying it's for "fun". There is absofuckinglutely nothing "fun" or "funny" about it, you fucking asshole. So to all you undercover hoes and fags, get with the program, Halloween is for the witches so hop on that broomstick we normal people call a dick and get the fuck off the streets.

EQUALITY OF THE SEXES? YEA RIGHT!

"...bitch please, you must have a mental disease [because we, men, own everything from the land to the seas]". I couldn't agree more with the words spoken by rapper Dr. Dre, because "bitches" (in this case, women) must have a mental disease if they think they can be equal with men. Some might argue that equality of the sexes is possible to be achieved, but I think that's retarded (hence the "mental disease"). Woman don't really want equality, and yes WANT because it is yet to exist, they want SELECTIVE EQUALITY. They want to have a selection as to which aspects of life will be the most rewarding if they can be thought of as equals to men. For example when it comes to employment and pay they want equality, but when it comes to whose going to take out the trash at night it must be the man. I'm not saying that woman can't outperform men in the corporate world I'm just saying that their not emotionally suited too (which isn't their fault, it's okay woman we forgive you). Woman have that thing every month called a period that takes the bitch-o-meter way passed its redline (and for the woman that will read this, if you don't know what I mean by redline, look it up it'll help in your never ending quest for equality). The business world is no place for extreme mood swings and inappropriate wants. Just because your craving a cookie, I hate to break it to you, you CAN'T have a break! So, woman, just accept the facts and lets live peacefully. I'm not an extremist like Borat and I don't say woman shouldn't drive (although their not very good at it), all I'm saying is it's pretty impossible for you to be equal. And don't forget you can't spell woman without spelling man and first instincts are usually the best, so respect GOD'S first instincts of creating a MAN.

NAGGER'S

I've been noticing lately that all black people do is bitch about everything. "It's 'cuz I'm black", motherfucker have you thought that it might be "'cuz your ignorant"? Black people can be the biggest racists and the biggest hypocrites. A black comedian call a white guy a cracker a white boy and redneck and everything is cool, but God forbid a white comedian says NIGGA! They'll have the biggest shit attack. One rapper even goes on to say, "...I give my white bitches everything but freedom..." I have a suggestion: Lets have Justin Timberlake sing a song that goes something along the lines of "I keep my nigga bitches on a leash and whip them from time to time." How's that nigga bitches? A taste of your own medicine might help you get your heads out of your asses. A black guy gets beat by cops and its racial profiling, a white guy gets beat it's because he deserved it. Have you ever thought that the black guy maybe possibly deserved it too? I mean it wouldn't be too far fetched seeing that black people are ONLY the majority of the prison population. And what's up with this affirmative action crap? You want equality? Lets get rid of quotas and let the best man, not black man, not white man but BEST MAN win.

FUCKING FIRES!

Yes we get it, Southern California is on fire! Is there really the need for the news to ONLY talk about that? What happened? Just because of the fires all crime and other news suddenly came to a halting stop? This is seriously fucking ridiculous! I really dont need to have 24/7 news coverage of how many houses and acres have burned down and how much of the fire has been contained. The only real necessary things would be to inform me of the areas of the fire maybe once every hour on a rolling message at the bottom of my television. If my backyard is on fire I think I can make a decision to immediately evacuate and don't need to turn on the news for guidance.

That's why I hate watching "news" channels, all they do is take every little fucking thing and turn it into a national crisis. One American in Iraq gets killed and thats all the news talks about. Were at fucking war! That's what happens to soldiers in war; THEY DIE! How come we never hear about how many Iraqi citizens have been killed? Because the news is as real as fucking Spongebob. I really don't care who Anna Nicole Smith's baby's father really is and I sure as hell don't care about Paris Hilton getting arrested. If I wanted crap like that I would watch Jerry Springer: Who's My Baby's Daddy episodes.

MEXICANS CAN FINALLY DO MATH AND MULTIPLY

Just when you think the Mexican's have learned their multiplication table they go and apply their newly learned knowledge to reproducing! As tacky as these stickers found ONLY on the back of a Mexicans car are, they do always have a way cheering me up then hitting me with the reality that the Mexicans are fucking taking over. I mean look at this one family with 15 members and the lady who was driving the car was pregnant for a 14th time! C'mon, don't these people know what a fucking condom is? And even putting that aside, how the fuck do you manage to have 13 kids?!?! It's ridiculous, none of them amount to anything anyways. What's the point? Exactly my point there is none. Note to all Mexicans: STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER, THAT WAY YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TIME TO SUCCEED IN LIFE. Plus you won't take up space on the streets which will help my commute and I might actually have a reason to give a flying fuck about you people.